Receiving a diagnosis can be a life-altering experience, especially when it triggers feelings of shame. Shame can create a whirlwind of emotions—unworthiness, failure, guilt, and loss—which compounds the stress of dealing with a diagnosis. These emotions form a toxic cycle that exacerbates the condition, leading to significant nervous system dysregulation. Often, it’s difficult to pinpoint this dysregulation because of our innate resilience in survival mode. That’s why it’s crucial to bring shame into the conversation when discussing diagnoses, and create a dialogue around its impact.
In today’s episode, Elisabeth and Jennifer are joined by Alexandra Harbushka, who has reclaimed her power after a herpes diagnosis and is actively breaking the stigma through her podcast Life With Herpes. Alexandra opens up about the deep despair she felt upon her diagnosis—the hopelessness, helplessness, and belief that she was unworthy of love. This dark cloud clouded her life until she made the conscious decision to change her mindset. By cultivating self-love and nervous system regulation, she was able to take control of her diagnosis and work through the shame attached to it.
Elisabeth and Jennifer also share their personal journeys with mental health and cancer diagnoses, exploring how the emotional journey is similar regardless of the condition. They discuss the steps they took to confront their shame, regulate their nervous systems, and ultimately find empowerment.
Shame wreaks havoc on both our nervous and immune systems. It keeps us hidden, isolated, and paralyzed. When you’re faced with something as daunting as a diagnosis, healing the shame around it can seem like an insurmountable task. But it’s possible. By connecting with others, regulating our nervous systems, and expressing our emotions, we can shift our perception of a diagnosis from something to be ashamed of to something that can be embraced as a gift.
This episode offers practical strategies for overcoming shame and regulating the nervous system in the face of a diagnosis. If this resonates with you, don’t miss it!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Alexandra’s herpes diagnosis story
The small steps Alexandra took to move beyond her “Eeyore phase”
The role social survival plays in reinforcing shame
Community as a healing antidote to shame surrounding diagnosis
How self-sabotage manifests after a herpes diagnosis
The cycle of fight, flight, and freeze responses in the face of diagnosis
How shame shows up in the body and its physical manifestations
Ways to regulate the nervous system and move through shame
How shame hides through protective behaviors
Uncoupling your identity from your diagnosis
Why discernment in sharing your diagnosis isn’t the same as shame
To connect with Alexandra, head to her Instagram page here: https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
Check out Alexandra’s podcast Life With Herpes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/life-with-herpes
If you would like to WATCH the episode and/or have closed captions, check out our Trauma Rewired YOUTUBE channel!
If you need access to transcripts of this episode, you can find that HERE on Apple Podcasts.
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