What if perfectionism isn’t ambition, but a nervous system reflex for survival? In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we’re joined by returning guest Piper Rose of ShadowPlay Coaching to explore perfectionism and rejection sensitivity through a neuroscience and trauma-informed lens. We reframe perfectionism as a high-cost survival strategy rooted in complex trauma, societal conditioning, and early nervous system adaptations. Together, Elisabeth Kristof, Jennifer Wallace, and Piper unpack how perfectionistic behaviors can emerge as reflexive responses to rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), relational trauma, and the need for social safety.
You’ll learn the neurobiology of rejection, the health costs of chronic perfectionism, and how to shift from performance and people-pleasing into embodied wholeness. The episode offers practical tools and empowering frameworks for understanding the somatic roots of perfectionism and reclaiming your internal safety and authenticity. This is a deeply validating conversation for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to earn love, approval, or belonging through being “perfect.”
Topics discussed in this episode:
Why perfectionism is a survival response, not a personality trait
How rejection sensitivity forms in the nervous system
The difference between perfectionism and growth-oriented excellence
Why our brains respond to social rejection like physical pain
The “garden” metaphor for complex trauma and coping
How societal systems reinforce performance-based self-worth
Chronic illness and the cost of emotional suppression
The link between self-sacrifice and autoimmune conditions
Why the nervous system must be regulated before healing perfectionism
How somatic work shifts self-rejection into self-acceptance
The paradox of people-pleasing and codependency
Reclaiming energy and creativity from high-resource coping mechanisms
Transcript: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-perfectionism-feels-like-survival-for-the/id1537602643?i=1000717129412
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