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Complex Trauma, Relationships and Your Nervous System

Episode 48

“You’re not just having your relationship, you are also having all of the past relationships that you had modeled for you. They’re all at work. And so while all of those dynamics are all playing out and all the micro stories are playing in, in your mind intellectually, they’re also playing out at the level of the nervous system.” -Dr. Jolie Hamilton

Dr. Jolie Hamilton joins us on the podcast this week for a juicy, fascinating, touching and deep conversation about relationships, trauma and Neuro-Somatic Intelligence (NSI) tools. Dr. Jolie is a relationship expert and Neuro-Somatic Intelligence graduate. She’s brought  NSI tools into her practice with clients and it’s been a massive game-changer. 

It may surprise you to hear that all of your relationships live in your nervous system. This includes current and past relationships starting from when you were in the womb. It includes the past relationships that were modeled for you– through your parents. And it even includes the relationships we have within ourselves.

We often talk about using NSI tools for an individual, but bringing these tools into relationships can be transformative and healing on a different level. If you have complex trauma then your attachment wounds may be triggered very often by your relationships. These triggers create outputs that affect the nervous system of the person you’re with as well as your own. 

Having practical, efficient NSI tools to calm your nervous system can shift that experience and the relationship.

You can learn to interrupt your triggers, create safety in your own body which in turn communicates safety to the people that you’re with. This helps us to be present with each other, to be curious and to feel safe to be open in our relationships.

We also discuss these juicy topics:

  • Jennifer and Dr. Jolie explain how seen and unseen communication affects our relationships.
  • Elisabeth talks about why the goal isn’t always regulation and the importance of experiencing all of our emotions.
  • Jennifer reveals her choice to not pursue a romantic relationship while she focuses on healing attachment wounds.
  • Dr. Jolie explains trauma bonds and why choosing a new pattern is dysregulating.
  • Dr. Jolie shares a profound and touching “woo” story about how NSI tools are healing her past generational trauma.
  • Using NSI tools during pleasure and sex.
  • Elisabeth shares how trauma can be the catalyst to a massive awakening in your life. 

Over the past three years, we have been through big collective trauma and it’s revealed dysfunctional parts of our society. 

Collectively we are being asked to expand, grow and change. 

As we learned from Matt Bush, Co-Lead Educator of NSI Certification, we can’t be in survival mode and performance mode at the same time. To rise to the challenge of collective healing, requires tools to move out of survival mode. The NSI Certification is an opportunity to learn the tools and neuro-knowledge needed to rebuild from the level of our nervous system.

Episode 48

Listen to more episodes of Trauma Rewired HERE